The “I Could Never….” Dream

Do you have an “I could never….” dream? You know the thing you want to do, but there are a million reasons why you can’t?  

Two years ago I cancelled a six-hour road trip solo with my boys because I was scared and didn’t think I could do it. 

A week ago, the boys and I returned home from a very similar trip, in fact, we went further than I was supposed to in that original trip. 

So what changed? 

First, for about eight months I had a job that required me to travel by myself, something I hadn’t done since college. I said yes to something that forced me to face my fears. Somehow in becoming a mom, I had forgotten that I used to be perfectly capable of traveling solo,s maybe buried in motherhood? (another topic for another day.) Sometimes we need a little reminder of ourselves pre-kids. 

Second, I changed a lot about how I live my daily life, everything I talk about as a coach. I practiced-self compassion, softened my self-talk, changed my views on having to be the “perfect” mom(or just perfect in general), built up resilience, felt more empowered to make decisions, focused on the positive, made mindspace for “me” to come back through and didn’t let my fears take over. 

Lastly, about a week before I left I was reminded of pivoting. As the trip was approaching, I found I was focusing on all that could go wrong….traffic, taking care of the boys while driving, my car having issues….and I realized I was missing the fact that on the other end of that drive was time with my oldest friends, that my kids would get to connect with their kids, and that we had fun adventures planned. I found a new sense of calm as the trip approached when I started focusing on the positive and not about what could go wrong. 

When I think about the experiences we had on our trip, the connections we made, and what we would have missed if I let my fear continue to get in the way of those visits….it makes me sad for all of us. 

Taking a trip might not be on your radar, but this week I was also reminded of the fact sometimes to make “mom friends” we have to step outside of our comfort zone. When my son was born I kept seeing ads for Baby Boot Camp, an exercise program that incorporates your stroller and your kids can go with you. I kept saying I would go, and never did. Until…I ran into the owner at a baby expo, I told her I would be there that week, I committed to going. I went and I loved it, I stayed for about a year, I’m still connected to some of the moms I met in boot camp. 

What is one thing you tell yourself you can’t do, but you want to? You don’t have to face it all at once, it took me two years to be ready to take this trip. 

What is one little step you could take towards that “I could never….” dream?